Walking Along Side Each Other
Picture: Ryan & Matto
This week we will celebrate our fall fundraiser “Strides for Sanctuary,” in
which we as a community and many friends and visitors will walk, run, skip,
roll or otherwise creatively travel 5k to raise money to help make our
community life possible. While fundraising runs are very common, we’ve
always wanted this event to not just be a means towards funding our
community life but to be part of that life. It’s something many of our
community members look forward to every year and lots help to raise funds
in whatever ways they are able, and the event finishes with everyone eating
together.
But there’s also something wonderfully symbolic about the event too.
Because walking together – accompanying each other through the stuff of
life, whether hardship or beauty – is a big part of what we do and who we
are.
Ryan describes his experience:
“When anyone asks me about Sanctuary, the first thing I always think
of is the first time I met any of you. And it was when I was really sick. It
was a Thursday night in November 2022. And actually, my wife had to
basically carry me here from around Dundas and Sherbourne, which
was a long way, considering I couldn’t really walk very well. And a
friend, who I had met a couple times just walking around the
neighbourhood, he saw how ill I was, and he basically made me go in
to the doctor who was here for clinic. I remember that one of the
nurses had to find an office chair to put me in and wheel me up the
elevator because I couldn’t go upstairs!
It was a really good thing I did because the doctor told me that I
probably had pneumonia, and there was a good chance I had sepsis
in my lungs too. I mean, he mentioned this a little later on, that if I
hadn’t gone to see him and then go to the hospital that night, I would
have died. But I’ll never forget what Simon did for me. You know, not
only did he drive me to Emergency, but he stayed with me. Because
my wife couldn’t come because of our dog. I mean, honestly, I hate
hospitals. Nothing good ever happens to me in a hospital. So, I
remember being pretty scared. I mean, I had a high fever. I kind of
only remember bits and pieces of things. But, I know that he spent like
12 hours with me. I didn’t find out until a year later that he was actually
supposed to be there for his best friend’s first child. You know, he
never said anything. He was just there for me. And it was weird,
because at times, it felt like something out of one of those, you know,
doctor shows on TV, like ER or something. There were people rushing
around, putting all sorts of different needles in me, which I hate, and
they actually had a group of students come take a look at me,
because it was something pretty rare and pretty dire. And yeah, that
certainly created a bond between he and I, right? Which has stayed
there up to this time. It’s 2026 now, so that was four years ago. So
much has happened since then, too. It’s always felt really mutual, you
know.”
There are so many other stories of accompaniment that have
happened over the years:
One community member who was physically unable to clean her
apartment and faced eviction had another friend show up and work for
days to clean and decorate it, turning into a place she was proud of
and able to invite guests into.
So many community members came alongside me to celebrate when I
was having my children – showering us with gifts, advice, visits, and
lots of love, even when it brought up difficult memories for them.
When one of our beloved community members was in his last days in
the hospital, so many from our community showed up to be there and
make sure he wasn’t alone, especially his best friend who had to stave
off withdrawals in order to keep vigil and barely left his side the whole
time.
We walk together because we can’t fix everything or take away the pain, but
we can be with and for each other along the way. As it is put in one of James
Baldwin’s novels, “what can we really do for each other – except just love
each other and be each other’s witness?”